Steve471 TV
_New Month Unlimited Random Vibez_

- Okada man crack joke. You no laugh. I sorry for u oo na accident u dey find

- In my dream, I saw Davido in his brand new car. He smiled at me and said Come in my boy. I just woke up and wear suite. I can't enter a celebrity car with ordinary singlet

- The thing is that am not heartless, I just use my heart less

- Never date a school drop-out. They will leave u the same way they left school

- Boy and Girl kissing. Boy suddenly stopped coz he felt something in his mouth
Boy: Babe, was that your Saliva? It tasted nice
Girl: no jareh. I just vomited

- When a visitor gives u something, ur mom will say oya collect it. And if you collect it..You Die Hard

- Abeg who introduced the custom of buying bread when going to village? Today, I must break it. I'm giving them Cheese Balls

- 100 couples were invited to a Gathering. The host noticed that most couples were controlled by the women. So he formed two groups, Group A and Group B, and asked the couples controlled by men to go to Group A and the rest to Group B. Surprisingly, only 1 couple went to Group A. He was amazed and then ask the man how he did it. The man replied My wife asked me to stay here

- If you like skip my post. It is written Many are called, but few are chosen. Many will read, but few will react clap.gif

- That moment you are about to enter the church, and boom you hear the pastor saying Brethren, lets pray, the demon is about to come into our midst

- When you smoke, you get HIGH. When you study, you get EDUCATED. When you smoke and study, you get HIGHLY EDUCATED
Sense!

- Pls if you have a Lexus 430, thoroghly washed and clean that you want to sell, pls sell it. It's none of my business

- That awkward moment you got home after a long journey and open the fridge just to realize someone has eaten all the food you've been thinking about all day!

- The drama I acted in my Secondary School as a poor man..E be like say God don takam serious

- A Nigerian Lady got married to a Chinese guy, got pregnant and gave birth to a baby boy. The baby died after 3months. On the day of the burial, the Lady came out crying saying I KNEW IT, I KNEW IT. Curious relatives took her to one corner and asked her what she meant. She said I KNEW IT, CHINA PRODUCT DON'T LASTlol.gif

- Any girl that is reading this post will be pregnant before the ending of this year. If you insult me, it will be twins

- Abeg ladies in the house, pad dey cost reach 10k? Abi na thieve this girl dey thieve my money?

- I'm done watching Nigeria movie. How can a ghost be vomiting? Which kind movie be that?

- Some girls will go and download pictures of Yahoo guys they don't know and be like Happy birthday boo, he can disturb for Africa
Story of Audio System

- She has finally broken my heart. Guys apart from Champagne, which other poison do u know?

- The girl wey I just toast this Afternoon tell me say she don get Belle say nah me be him papa..Cynthia why?

- Girls be careful, some guys can date a girl until the wife material in her will remain half yard

- My neighbor is complaining that he wants to quit his church, that drummers won't even let them hear what Pastor have to say... Before Praise The Lord, U don hear Skrum skrum korogodom tom tom gbish

- In Africa, last born are raised with past questions. Strict parents be like U better go and ask ur seniors about me

- Dis country sef... Pesin buy motor, anoda pesin say him no like d color... Oga wetin concern u?

- Sisters, when marrying, please consider his surname. Which one is Mrs. Jessica Enenebeejolu?
(Igbos Can Relate)!

- Mom: Who left the fridge open?
Me: scared.gif I'm not the one
Mom: (lands me hot slap)
Me: (falls to the ground)
Mom: (Goes to the CCTV and switches it on. Then she realized she was the one who forgot to close the fridge)
Me: (Sweating and Crying)
Mom: U should have closed it when u saw it open
They will never say sorry!

- Anyone who doesn't value you doesn't deserve your attention. Face your front and respect your self

- Raise up your hands if you think you'd marry the person you are dating now and slap yourself

- If life throws u on the ground, please cover yourself with blanket and sleep
U sef don try!

- You see those GIRLS that eat without getting fat, the food goes to their attitude, very stubborn set of people

- If you are dating an Igbo guy and he has never called you Mummy or Nne, my sister you are still single
Abi Richy I lie?

- Me: Baby you must be a yam

Her: Why?!

Me: Nothing, coz my heart is pounding for u

- Oga increase gateman salary. Out of joy, gateman slap madam for nyash
The case don reach supreme court

- Me As a Teacher
Steve: How do you know a female mosquito?

Richy: It will be flying around your pocket...
Overall best student!

- Baby I mistakenly withdrew 250,000k from ur account but I plait my hair with it to look good for you
Reply as the boyfriend..

- Stop begging salary earners for money. They are the poorest people. Their expenses is always bigger than their income

- In Nigeria we have only two parties
APC and PDP
The remaining is end of the year party

- I don't understand why in banks, pens are always attached to strings. We trust them with our money and they can't even trust us with just one pen

- Mother: Did u enjoy ur first day at school?

Girl: First day? Do u mean I have to go back tomorrow?
Pele!

- Dis country don tire me, how fuel go finish for Ambulance?

- I bought one BOXER 50k and you said I shouldn't wear it in public?
Lemme o!

- Chai English hard oo. Somebody said to a set of twins that, You look face to face instead of You look together in one.
Olodo!

- Inspirational speakers be like, I started my poultry factory with just one Chicken feather.
Ta, God punish u!

- After downloading a 2.56GB Movie. Now pressed play.. Boom UNSUPPORTED FILE
Ah! Lemme o, lemme enter river

- I know book, I know book. If goat is a meat, then fish is what?

- Even if your Girlfriend is Black, just post her picture. We will increase our phone brightness

- You will hang your pant in your boyfriend's bathroom and be claiming woman of the house, awon chief territory maker, another girl will come and use it to burst pimples

- We should have a day for walking naked, just to remember Adam and Eve
No be my handwriting o

- That moment when you and your father are arguing about football and he says Salah is better than Ronaldo and you mistakenly replied *See this mumu o*
Just Pack Your Load And Go To The Nearest Orphanage!

- Somewhere in Nigeria now, a guy is smelling his BOXERS just to check if he can wear it again after 3days
God Is Watching You, My Brother

- That moment when you are trying to impress your crush and you now tell the driver, You can keep the change, then he yells Oga, your money never complete

- LAST SEEN
Whatsapp - 1 min ago
Facebook - 5 mins ago
Twitter - 2 mins ago
BIBLE - 2018
My dear, the devil has soaked your cane in kerosine!

- Slay queen, slay queen and your teeth yellow pass MTN logo
It's not my handwriting o

- My neighbour came back drunk and has been knocking at his door from 9am up to now, but he STAYS ALONE. Should I tell him that he's not around?

- 30 minutes post you got 705 likes
3 hours exam you got 5 marks
Sister the devil is dancing leg work with your Destiny!

- Welcome to Nigeria where girls borrow makeup and dress just to visit a guy who borrows room from his friend.
Too much *confusion* and *transmission*

- Black parents will compare you with other kids but when you compare them with other parents...Hehehe, my friend you will be homeless

- Kate: No s*x, I'm mourning my father
Peter: I know, that's why I wore a black condom. Open your legs and accept my condolence..

- Three University guys dodged Exam because they did not study. They came up with a plan, got themselves dirty using Grease, then went to see the lecturer;
Sir, we are sorry we could not make it to the Exam. We attended a wedding and on our way back, the car broke down thus we became dirty as you can see.
The lecturer understood and gave them three days to prepare.

After three days, they went to the lecturer very ready for the Exam because they had studied.
The lecturer put them in three separate classes with only four questions in the Exam paper;
1. Who got married? (25 marks)
2. Where was the reception held? (25 marks)
3. Where exactly did the car break down? (25 marks)
4. What type of car broke down? (25 marks)
Marking Scheme: Your Answers Must Be The Same!!!

They are still in the Exam hall as I speak!

Lesson: The Truth Shall Set You Free Always

- I dey turn semo for kitchen and my GF dey inside dey watch BBN2021. If I marry this girl make I bend !

- I don't understand why vomiting is the only symptom of pregnancy in Africa movies
U notice am?

- Omo dis dating queue no dey move o. Make una break up make we enter set nah. Abi wetin dey sup?

- If your parents name you LUCKY or FATE, just know that you escaped abortion

- I have never seen someone come out of a pool to urinate
Are you thinkin what am thinkin?

- A Guy was just admiring his girlfriend and felt like:
BF: Baby I love red
GF: Why do u say so?
BF: Because your lips are red
GF: Thanks but I love yellow
BF: Why??
GF: Because your teeth are yellow


- Baby I will die for you, says a guy that puts medicine inside Eba

- Yahoo is not the only way to make money online, Jetbits can also pay 50k-200k within 0.0005sec. If ya' interested lemme know !

- When you want to be serious, you meet a cheat/unserious person. When you want to cheat, you now meet a serious person. This life no balance
We move!

- Soup wey sweet na better person cook am, no be money Abeg. Some girls fit use 20k cook soup, u go prefer to drink garri sleep

- My landlord has refused to answer my greetings since yesterday just becoz I helped NEPA people hold ladder to cut our light

- Don't know how you guys will see this..But sometimes I do wake up around 3am and clean my room, just in case Nikki Minaj's car break-down and she needed somewhere to sleep

- Those with bald head, there is rarely nothing that pass beside them that they won't feel on their head
I'm sorry!

- Tears of joy is when a motor hit you and Dangote comes out of the car, and Tears of sadness is when he tells his driver to shift you one side and let their motor pass in peace

- Nigerian Police and Their Wahala
__ _A police officer went to the Suya joint and kept staring at a roasted chicken, the man selling it quickly noticed and asked the police man what he wanted, then He replied; Sharrap, I'm arresting the chicken for immoral dressing

___They would stop you on the road and be like, Why is your laptop bag empty?, you want to steal a laptop and keep it in the bag abi??, Oya enter motor

- Don't force anyone to chat with you, if ya' feeling bored, you can read my jokes
Ahbi?!

- Develop the habit of Subscribing peeps Channels. It may land you to having more Subscribers on yours.. Who knows?!
Thankiu!

NEW MONTH TO Y'ALL

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