Fighting l*st myself was the worst thing that happened to me.I really had to sit and think about it all.

I am a man. I chanted beating on my chest like a boxer.
They are women, the weaker gender too.Why then should I continue to die for them.
Is this not madness?

I hated my weakness immediately because that was quite shameful and sordid.
At that very juncture, I decided to do it myself.
During our previous fellowship camp meeting, we were taught that it takes the Holy spirit to do it all.
The man of God that preached made it crystal clear that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, not even mere powers.
Hence, the good reason we should decrease so that God will increase in our lives.

John 3:30.
He quickly mentioned and I would say that I was the first to arrive there.

Notwithstanding these coupled with my discipline too, I still battled with the spirit of lust, a very terrible one if you're yet to get your head around it.
I never even believed it was real until I found myself in a great perilous situation.

Growing up as a young boy, I was so sceptical that I could fall for any woman.
That was a sheer aberration for me as well.
I vehemently believed that apart from my mum, my female relations and any other woman that took care of me, as long as I was still single, no other woman should enjoy my affection.

Being a christian too, I found it not necessary to be taught on how to avoid and overcome lust.
Even in my secondary school, I was always known to be living an emotionless life.
Everyone especially the female students said that I wasn't a human being.

You do not have feelings at all..
Oh goodness me !
One female student said that to me one day.
Gradually, the enemy started pushing me towards that great foe of mine.
His intentions was that I got acquainted with that.

It continued and became very serious.
Then, I found that as an enormous burden.
I couldn't control it anymore.
I never disclosed that with my parents either.
Within me, I wondered that it would look so shameful.
They have known me to be serious christian that incessantly yearns for God's kingdom.
Whenever I would try to expose that, I would hear different voices and hence will have no option but to hold my peace and live life as usual.

Hmmm Praise of all people.. One of the voices I heard.
They'll say that to you if you ever expose that.It is high time you lived like this, it isn't bad in any way.

I never ceased from slipping away.
There was this vast and intense desire I always had.
Sometimes I would greatly long to force myself to bed.
The crux of it all was that I satisfy my s*xual desire even without the female gender.
In other words, I was a sheer masturbator.
Being alone with young girls, ladies and even young women became my greatest priority.
I derived full utility in that.

I would abruptly cringe and my heart beat would beat so fast whenever I cast my eyes on any.
Actually, It dawned on me that something was eating me up but unfortunately, I was so adamant to admit my flaws.

No this is natural, I have being a strong and disciplined christian too right from my youth.
I would back myself up.

In the detriment of my ugly situation, I deployed a new strategy that I now call foolishness and counterfeit.
I started desiring to preach and study the Bible with only the females.
To me, that was the best way to live as a man.

Why will you still call that lust?
Someone might ask..
Well, that is undoubtedly l*st !
Deep within me, my greatest aim was to satisfy my flesh, my hunger and longings.
I so much loved it when I hear girls laugh, cast their eyes on me and do other s*xual related things..

It was during those moments that I discovered that there are lustful seeds in the eyes.
I would always long to hug any female I see.
However, I may not really have in mind to copulate but I knew it was still the devil at work.

When it was time to study that same Bible with my fellow man, I would lose interest at once.
I needed no prophet to tell me that I was heading to doom.

One fateful day, I decided to meet with my Jesus.
I never ate nor drink.
I locked the door and wept bitterly.
I yearned for Jesus to hearken unto me.
The previous day, I would have landed unto eternal doom.Since I was able to escape that, it meant that there was yet hope.

Miraculously, God heard my cries and showed me mercy.
These were his words..

Son, I have heard your cries.
Nevertheless, I have these few words for you.
Never think you can do it alone.
That is why you have me all the time.
I want you to start living a disciplined life.
Your focus should always be on me
Remember your Biblical father apostle Paul.
1 Corinthians 9:27 and Philippians 3:10 should remain indelible in you.

You know your weaknesses, yes you do.
Never tempt your own self by paying deaf ears to them.
If looking at a woman would cause you imbalance, then cease from doing that.
That was what I meant when I gave you an instruction in my Word; cut your fingers if they are going to be a distraction to you from going into my kingdom.

Praise, lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge me and I will direct your path.
Peace be unto you.

You needed to see how new I felt.
I kept God's instructions fully.
To the glory of God, I overcame the evil spirit of lust.
You too can if you desire.
Just believe, make this bold declaration with me, I CAN !!